Why My Cat is Basically Rapunzel

1. He has the golden locks of a god.

Fur

Take a minute and lose yourself inside those sweet, thick locks of angel baby fur. Go ahead, I’ll wait. It’s actually rumored that his marvelous mane hails straight from the head of the mighty Zeus himself. Like Rapunzel, those golden curls are his crowning glory. Oh, and in case you were wondering, he’s a natural blonde.

2. He is the long lost heir to a long line of royalty.

King

Okay, I made this one up. But doesn’t he just look so stately? More regal than Julie Andrews, I’d say.

3. He’s not allowed outside.

Apparently there are indoor and outdoor cats, and the two cannot be mixed. I think it has to do with vaccines or something, but I’m no cat whisperer. Every morning, as I wiggle myself out of thinly cracked door into the glorious sunlight, Oliver is forced to stare in torturous wonder from his sofa-top perch at the world beyond. Basically, I’m his evil Mother Gothel. Hooray.

4. Those impossibly large, heart-warming eyes.

Eyes

Okay. Rapunzel’s are green while Oliver’s are blue, but would you look at those eyes?! It probably takes like 20 calories just to blink. There will be none of those witchy, devil-diamond cat eyes in this house. No, sir. In fact, if you stare into his pupils, you can spot little baby unicorns, prancing on rainbows eating clouds of cotton candy. Those magical eyes could even take down even the toughtest ogre.

Without boots.

5. He can charm even the toughest heart.

Really, the video says it best.

Those Funny Felines

 These days it seems there’s a constant menacing laughter in my head. Satan? Worse. Finals. Even if you’re not in college, you’ve likely got your own demons to tackle. Every so often we all need to escape with a  little five minute pick-me-up. No, no, not vodka. I mean cat pictures.

That’s right, cat pictures. They’re taking the world by storm, I tell you. I don’t care if you’re 4 or 72, nothing can bring a smile to your face like a cat submerged in water or dolled up in little rainboots. If you’re thinking I’ve finally danced off the cliff of sanity, I challenge you to get through this blog post without cracking a smile. Should you succeed, you may want to contact your local geologist because you have a heart of stone.

Now, to save you from pouring over countless Google pages dedicated to cats and their peculiar ways, I went on a Pinterest/Google/Twitter scavenger hunt to find you the pawsitively funniest of felines. Without further ado, my top 5 cat memes:

5. Dirty Dan the Cat

There’s just something about a creepster cat that just really gets my goat.

4. Story-time

 A cat in a blanket reading Winnie the Pooh. Please, it’s too much.

3. Kitten Bouquet

Look at their little arms! They just say, “Yay! A kitten bouquet!” Yes, kitten bouquet, I will love you. Each and every one.

2. Charles

Oh, Charles. We know it’s a wig.

1. Uncle Sylvester

“Why yes, I would like some tea while I watch the Lawrence Welks Show. Thank you,” said Uncle Sylvester the cat.

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Think you can top my showcase? Feel free to add to the archives meow with your own purrfectly amusing photos.