As you may recall, I wrote a post in May called S*#! Students Say, chronicling the unbelievably stupid and completely true things I’ve heard students say around campus. Shocking stuff, right? Well, now that the fall semester is upon us, it seems like the perfect time for the long-awaited sequel, don’t you think? I agree.
In the first post, I asked for your craziest quotes, and you delivered! Three of today’s fabulous quips came from readers, so props to those of you willing to share your s*#! with the world. Keep it up, and thanks for reading! As a final reminder, all of the quotes are real and free of fabrication.
So, without further ado, I give you “S*#! Students Say Part II.” Enjoy.
Sorority Girl: Hey, Jessica! Psssst! What’s the plural of moose? It’s meese, right?
Stereotypical freshmen girl (to boy beside her): My goal is to learn everyone’s name by the end of the semester!
Boy : This is a 200-student lecture.
Girl: If I were a beard, I would be that guy’s beard.
Guy: If you were a beard, I would shave you.
Girl: Well, I wouldn’t live on your face!
Girl: Were you on royal baby watch?!
Girl: Ugh, I was. I absolutely lost it when the prince was born. I mean, I cried for like a good ten minutes.
Embarrassment to Womankind: That assignment was SO hard.
Friend: Oh gosh, I’m sorry. Why was it so hard? Did he not explain it or anything?
Embarrassment: He did. It’s just that we had to find the slope.
Guy: So your an English major. Right?
Girl: Yea, that’s right.
Guy: So are you going to be a teacher when your graduate?
Girl: Oh no, I want to be a neurosurgeon.
Guy: Wow, that’s really cool. So your taking pre-med stuff in addition to your English major?
Guy: No? How will you become a neurosurgeon?
Girl: Probably never will, I just like to set my goals really high…..
Typical White Girl at Starbucks #1: Guys, I’m gonna’ treat myself today! Hmmmm. What should I get? I know it’s like SO bad for you, but I’m gonna’ get a cheese Danish.
Typical White Girl at Starbucks #2: That’s disgusting!
Typical White Girl at Starbucks #1: Gross? It’s a pastry with cream cheese in it. How could that possibly be gross?
Typical White Girl at Starbucks #2: Oh! I thought it was like real cheese.
Typical White Girl at Starbucks #1: Emily. Cream cheese is real cheese.
Typical White Girl at Starbucks #2:
Girl #1: “I didn’t like that movie so much. The abortion scene grossed me out.”
Girl #2: “Abortion? You mean where she had a C-Section?”
Girl #1: “Whatever. I mean, like, what’s the difference?”
Have you heard some s*#! around campus? Then share your most craziest quotes in the comment! Who knows? There may just be a part III in the future. And of course, as always, for more laughs at the expense of others, be sure to follow my blog!